Before women’s liberation, society had come to a point of hyper-differentiation between the genders. So, while each of them fulfilled very specific functions to complement each other —that stereotypical Mom at home and Dad at work thing—, there was no room for any other variations. Let’s say that if a woman wanted to study and not get married she was considered a weirdo and was, either forced to follow her role or excluded from her community. Simultaneously, if a man wanted to be a dancer or execute any other activity that was seen as a more ‘feminine chore‘ he would probably be hanged, bullied, or at least ridiculed for life.
The so-called ‘Women’s Empowerment Era‘ has considerably helped women to balance their feminine and masculine energies. It’s now pretty normal —in developed and developing countries— to see women as working moms, single entrepreneurs, students, CEOs, politicians, etc. Women these days can freely choose to be anything they want… they can be sexy, sweet, caring, and powerful, all at the same time!
Now we need to create a movement that does the same for men. Because while many women are achieving a state of wholeness, men are being left behind in an arena of emotional disadvantage.
Unfortunately, many wounded women have misunderstood ‘feminism‘ as an intent to outgrow men and such immature behaviors have been truly despising and emasculating for the male collective. As a consequence, many men are filled up with resentment towards women and most of them don’t even know where it comes from, since they basically just inherited this contempt for women from their ancestors or have been influenced by the wounded male collective.
Currently, many of the men who were born from wounded women or who have had close relationships to either wounded women, or men who have been affected by wounded women, experience feelings of anger, frustration, unmotivation, silent depression, etc. and have not been able to link this insatisfaction with their unconscious feelings of rivalry against women, becoming unable to deal with this emotional disruption at all. By not being taught how to deal with emotions since their very early years, Men end up looking tough in the outside but are very vulnerable in the inside. For them, the easiest way to avoid such pain is through shutting down. To shut down is to disconnect from the actual stimulation that causes pain and get engaged in something else to become distracted —call it: too much work, substance abuse, over-indulgent sex, etc. Which, of course is nothing but a defense mechanism.
Since they have not been allowed to excel as ‘feelers’, Men know they cannot win in the emotional field, and because men are taught to relate to life as a big competition, if they can’t win they will just not run the risk. That’s why so many men don’t get involved in serious relationships, or do it in a very superficial way, making clear that they will only provide what they can control —money, for instance—, but that nothing else should be expected from them. (A.k.a. Emotionally Unavailable Men)
This of course continues to generates a vicious cycle between the genders, because as a result, women keep considering men as a useless part of the species, especially now that they feel more whole as individuals since they’re able to embody their two polarities. And men keep feeling rejected, disrespected and dishonored by women.
Through their liberation and empowerment movements, women have asked that their roles as human beings are allowed to change and expand. We should allow men to do the same without judgement, and above all, men should allow themselves to do so, without any shame. Connecting to their feelings will actually make them stronger as males.
It’s hard for men to realize that true power comes from within, not from external strength. But once they experience it, they will have a deeper understanding of it. Why not try something new for different results, instead of repeating the old, hoping for things to change in vain?
There is a serious crisis going on in men’s lives at the moment and it has been kept very silent. It’s time for a whole new man to emerge. And fortunately, many of us, the whole newly emerged women, are already looking forward to welcoming him.
With love & respect,
MaLe Corona <3