Did you know that NASA’s most recent discovery is that Men and Women are not aliens from different planets, but that it turns out they’re both earthlings from the same species and they actually inhabit planet Earth?
I know, I know, I’m just teasing you, haha. But I think you get the point. Gender is nothing but a social construct and unfortunately, one we’ve bought into for way too long despite its negative consequences. Did you know Men and Women are more similar than different? I’m being serious about this one. Studies show that the vast majority of the population, despite their gender, are neither authentically hyper-masculinized nor hyper-feminized but rather somewhere in the middle. And that, my dears, is healthy stuff.
The funny thing is we strive to make it to one of those two extremes because according to the media’s male and female standards that’s what we should be like. One can either look like Barbie or like G.I. Joe, right?
While biologically our bodies might be slightly different, emotionally and psychologically Men and Women are not supposed to be that different. Our opposition is only a myth we’ve been conditioned to believe for years. A whole human being, whether male or female is integral; meaning, he or she has thoughts, feelings, strengths, vulnerabilities, activities and passivities. The feminine and the masculine are not genders, but energies and both of them lie within every single human being, no matter what their reproductive system looks like.
Calling someone masculine is only a reference to his or her predominant energy, not necessarily his or her gender. I bet you know masculine women! And the same goes for the feminine category. There’s nothing wrong with being more inclined towards one or the other energy, as long as we’re inclined with authenticity. Otherwise, a fake inclination will screw us up.
Take me as an example: As a woman born in the middle of a transition era between traditional womanhood from the 20th century and empowered womanhood from the 21st century, I became an absolute sexual energy mess. On one side I was told women had to be caregivers, stay home, remain silent, sacrifice their well being for others —and that is actually what I saw my mother do. On the other hand, outside my home and on the media, I was told that women had to stand up, be independent, work, become successful and basically, be bulletproof.
Unconsciously, I made the balance between being a caregiver or being an independent woman and I chose the latter. First of all, because it seemed more fun and second, because living like my mom seemed very painful. So to begin with, at that point I was not making an identity choice out of my true desires, but as a means to run away from my fears. “I will never be like my mom”, I swore.
As years went by the pain of faking a life my soul didn’t crave for became unbearable. My body was sick, my mind anxious, angry and depressed, and it seemed like every single decision I made driven by the idea of having to be powerful, independent, successful and rich killed me a little more, slowly. Four years ago, the time came by God’s grace, for me to acknowledge that my soul truly desired love and connection—the feminine— more than money and purpose—the masculine. When I was brave enough to admit that, I started giving myself permission to embody such desire. Everything changed: my body, my mind, even my job and hobbies, and of course my health, my sense of worth and my overall satisfaction in life. My true identity at this point in my life is more feminine, it is what makes me alive and it shows. And I know a few Men who are authentically more feminine than masculine as well, which is totally fine because it is what truly lights their soul. I also know women who were born to be in their masculine, and that rocks! Other people however, both men and women, are more balanced. And actually we all switch from masculine to feminine and viceversa, not only as we grow up, but even on a daily basis. Some activities require more of our feminine traits and others require more of our masculine.
There’s no shame in being feminine, whether you’re a male or a female. There’s no pride in being masculine in either case. The masculine and the feminine are not genders, they are energies, and whole human beings embody both on planet Earth. No one’s from Venus, and no one’s from Mars; I’m sorry to break your heart, but Santa Claus doesn’t exist either. It’s time to forge a new society of mature whole Men and Women who do not focus on our differences, as much as we focus on what brings us together: our big warm hearts, our smart capable minds, and our deep desire to prosper as a species.
And so it shall be…
With love & respect,
MaLe Corona <3